Marriage: A Gift from God, A Journey of Love and Growth

A Letter to My Sister-in-Law: Building a Christ-Centered Marriage

As You Begin This Beautiful Journey

As you prepare to embark on this beautiful journey together, I want to share something from my own experience as someone who has been married for ten years. Marriage is one of God’s greatest blessings, but it’s also a journey filled with both joy and challenges.

Your love today feels strong, exciting, and unshakable. But there will be moments when misunderstandings arise, when words hurt more than you intended, and when you wonder, “Why is this so hard?”

I know this because I’ve been there. My wife and I have had our share of wounds and conflicts. But every single time, we overcame them through prayer and God’s Word. And today, after ten years, we can confidently say that we love each other even more than we did in our honeymoon phase.

That’s the beauty of a marriage built on Christ—it doesn’t fade; it grows deeper, stronger, and more beautiful with time.

1️⃣ Marriage is a Covenant, Not Just a Commitment

Many people see marriage as a contract—an agreement based on mutual happiness. But in God’s eyes, marriage is far more than that. It’s a covenant (Genesis 2:24), a sacred promise made before Him, not just to each other.

📖 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24, ESV)

A covenant means sticking together not because it’s easy, but because God is at the center. It means learning to fight for each other, not against each other. It means seeing marriage not as a daily test of patience, but as a daily opportunity to reflect God’s love.

2️⃣ Don’t Look for a Perfect Spouse—Be a Growing One

Before getting married, many people wonder: “Is this the perfect person for me?” But the truth is, no one is perfect. And marriage is not about finding the right person, but becoming the right person.

📖 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3, ESV)

In the past ten years, I’ve learned that my spouse is not the problem—my own selfishness is. The biggest challenge in marriage is not dealing with your partner’s flaws, but surrendering your own pride, preferences, and expectations to truly love selflessly.

✅ Practical ways to prepare for this mindset:

• Practice forgiveness daily. Don’t hold onto grudges; let love cover small offenses.
• Embrace differences. Your spouse won’t think, feel, or react exactly as you do—learn to love their uniqueness.
• Commit to growing together. Pray together, study God’s Word, and never stop learning how to love each other better.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down one thing you appreciate about your spouse every day. Even in difficult moments, training your heart to focus on gratitude will help build a stronger, more loving relationship.
• Express gratitude in small ways. Say “thank you” for the little things—whether it’s making coffee, listening patiently, or simply being there.

Especially for husbands, receiving words of affirmation from their wives provides deep emotional security.

3️⃣ Guard Your Words—Speak to God, Not Against Your Spouse

One of the biggest dangers in marriage is speaking negatively about your spouse to others—especially to your parents, siblings, or close friends. It might feel harmless at first, but words have power, and constant complaining can slowly erode love and respect.

📖 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1, ESV)

When frustrations arise, take them to God first. Instead of venting to your family about your spouse’s shortcomings, pray for your spouse. Instead of seeking validation from others, seek wisdom from the Word.

✅ Why is this important?

• It protects your spouse’s honor and dignity.
• It prevents external influences from interfering in your marriage.
• It encourages spiritual dependence on God, not human opinions.

Marriage is not about proving who is right—it’s about growing together in Christ. Let God be the first place you run to when struggles come.

4️⃣ Build a Biblical Foundation Together—Not a Humanistic One

You and your spouse come from different families, cultures, and experiences. Naturally, there will be differences in values, traditions, and ways of thinking. It’s easy to say, “This is just who I am—don’t try to change me,” or “I was raised this way, so I must be right.”

But be careful—this mindset is often rooted in humanism rather than biblical truth.

📖 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2, ESV)

As a Christian couple, your goal is not to defend your personal background or upbringing, but to align your thinking with God’s Word. The sooner you do this, the fewer unnecessary conflicts you’ll have.

✅ Practical Steps to Build a Biblical Worldview Together:

• Read the Bible Together Regularly. God’s Word should be the foundation of your marriage, not cultural traditions or personal experiences.
• Reject Humanistic Philosophy & Build a Biblical Mindset. The world promotes individualism, self-priority, and relativism, but biblical marriage is about unity, sacrifice, and absolute truth.
• Seek Theological Guidance from Your Pastor and join a marriage discipleship program.

5️⃣ Storms Will Come, But God Will Keep You Steady

There will be tough seasons. There will be misunderstandings, hurtful words, and moments of exhaustion. But don’t let those define your marriage.

📖 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, ESV)

Make God the third strand in your marriage, the unbreakable foundation that holds you together when everything else feels weak.

Final Words: Marriage is a Reflection of Christ’s Love

Your love for each other is meant to reflect Christ’s love for us—unconditional, sacrificial, and eternal.

📖 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:22, 25, ESV)

Whenever you face difficulties, pray together. Seek God’s wisdom. And remind each other why you chose this covenant in the first place.

🙌 I’m cheering for you and praying for your marriage! May your marriage be filled with God’s grace, love, and endless joy.